Second Chance

     All I can think about lately is the song "Second Chance" by Shinedown. A couple lines really hit me hard: "Tell my mother, tell my father, I've done the best I can to make them realize this is my life. I hope they understand, I'm not angry. I'm just saying, sometimes good bye is a second chance". These lines just make me feel like they are calling a name,my name.
     I think it is pretty fucked up when I can't enjoy a free hunting trip in Maine because my thoughts are consumed by everything that is occuring between my family and I. I feel like I'm going to  be excluded from my immediate family. I feel as though I am going to be forced to exclude myself from everyone else too.
    I believe that it is extremely sad that the people I know that I can fall on, lean on, sleep on their couch, and overall feel comfortable around, are absolutely none of my family. That's just sad and not right. My coach and former teach should not be the people that I call when I have problems, my mom and dad are supposed to be. But it's not. And that bothers me. Not a lot but it does.
    It is surprising to me how much Nicole Brown and Coach are there for me. It shows how much they actually care about me . I love knowing that with one phone call, I can have two sane adults on my side of pretty much anything. I think that is just insane...but a good insane.
    I guess the one good thing comes out of all of this is that I know exactly who I can fall back on. And exactly who truly matters in my life. I probably shouldn't let it all bother me as much as I do, but fuck, this is my life. And this situation allows me to find out who really deserves to be in my life. Quite frankly, I'm not sure if half my family deserves to be a part of my life...