Question. Answer?

     Lately I have been getting asked, and asking myself, about swimming next year,er this year. And quite frankly, I'm not even sure. I am extremely nervous about what could occur next year. I don't know if it will be awkward, comfortable, or even better than before.
     I am really concerned about how people will treat me, both in and out of the locker room. I view the locker room situation as this: I haven't changed, I've been gay since I started swimming. So because they know, they have to be worried? Seems fishy. I'm there to swim, change, and go home. Just like everyone else. I don't think of my straight friends in a sexual way, I just don't. I can understand why some people can be uncomfortable but c'mon people, get over it.
     My other concern is if there will be any gay bashing now. Granted, there already was some but it was in a kidding way. So I wonder if people are going to change. I really am used to people using "gay" and etcetra in a "bad" way. It doesn't bother me to an extreme point. Same thing with "fag". As I've said early, I don't care if you say it, but if you call me a fag, I won't hesitate to beat your ass.
     I realize that my coach will help me with anything and everything, it's just how our relationship is. If there is a problem, I feel overly confident about talking to him about it. And that's a good thing. Cooley, my choice for captain, has also told me that if there is a problem to tell him and he will try to help me out. Which could be why he is one of my best friends,
     Now that I'm done talking about my fears, let's talk about the pros.
     I would feel fricken awesome because I feel like I would be making a standard. A change, for the team. I would be the first gay swimmer to be open about it for my last two years. I think I could change the way that some people would feel about having a gay swimmer. I would feel even better if I could make through the whole season without any problems, but problems are inevitable.
     I really don't want to quit doing my favourite thing because people are ignorant and close minded. I shouldn't be afraid to do my sport because of dumb people. I love the sport, I love my team, I love everything about it.
     Clearly, I am still in questioning of my swim season this year. I will continue to talk to my close friends and trusted adults about what they think I should do. Right now, it's looking like I am going to swim. Say "fuck it" and do what I love. I think would be stupid if I quit for this reason. Even if I did, I would still be at every meet, all the time. For my team.