Shrinks shrinks shrinks!

So, in recent news, I have told both my mother and brother. Rob doesn't really care but Mom seems to be upset. Mom seems like she doesn't understand. She apparently doesn't understand enough to the point that she has me signed up to go to a therapist tomorrow. I'm obviously not looking forward to it.
     Mom is under the impression that this is all just a phase. My response to that being "So people live in a phase their entire life?". Anyways, I was l once told that when I have kids and they do something wrong, I will feel like I have done something wrong. I think this is how Mom feels. She has done nothing wrong. I don't think she realizes that. But yeah. I am not really sure if I'm glad she knows or not. I just wish she wont make a big thing out of it...

That's what brothers are for.

     As I sat there last night listening to "Brothers" by Dean Brody, I realized that Rob leaves in December; And that I really wanna tell him before he leaves for Korea.
     So I sat there for about twenty minutes and wrote a long message (five pages) to him, and reviewed it with Nicole and Brad and they both "okayed" it. I decided that I will send it to him tonight before he goes to work. Because, like me, he thinks a lot while he works. I am worried of what his response will be but oh well. He's gonna find out eventually.
     I feel that once I tell him, my life will be a whole lot easier. And it will also build up the circle around Mom.
    So yeah, that's that. And I will keep you updated.

Ahh. Frowny face.

     I love how every couple of days things just get to me. Things that I have no control over I just can't get out of my head. And it's not even things that will happen tomorrow, they will all happen later in life. I'll throw down some examples.
- Me having children
- College
- Relationships that I have to hide around some people
And yeah. Today was one of the days. There will be more to come.

Ohh, the standard depressed kid.

     I had thought that after 4 months, I would be over the whole swim situation, I guess I was wrong.
     When I heard the great song "Unwell",by Matchbox Twenty, I quickly realized that I wasn't over it; I merely convinced myself that I was. I think the song and the idea of my first swim meet after the "incident" made me really think about what happened. And that's not good. It saddened me enough to want to just drive,up and down Lakeshore Road for a hour.
     It kinda makes me sad that I had someone that I thought I could trust and lean on betray me like that. I don't even think the worst part was him doing it, I think it was the relationships and the auora between the team as a whole, and myself. I had actually started to make myself something, and actually became something bigger than me; And one man, nay,boy, tore all of it away.
    I truly do not understand what he thought he was doing when he did what he did.  It was stupid. Granted, me telling was apparently also stupid. But I guess I thought he would have the decency to not announce it. I mean really.
     I'm glad I got that off my chest. I think I now just need a good hug from my best friend Nater and I will feel better.
     So I leave you with this...Be careful who you trust, you don't know who is gonna turn out to be a fake.