Coach Time

     So, yesterday I spoke with Coach regarding the situation at hand. And he said that he didn't really care, that he would support me when/if something happens, and that if I or the other swimmers felt uncomfortable to speak with him and that he would take care of the problem promptly. He was also glad that I told him before something happened. Apperantly, no other person did that. Everyone else told him when the situation occured.
     I told him pretty much everything. And he cared enough to check to see if any of the swimmers did anything against me and questions like that. He also asked me if I checked with the other swimmers regarding next year, and I informered him that I did and that none of them had a problem.
     I am currently extremely glad that I told him, and that I know that he has my back, swim related or not. I feel alot better getting it off my chest. I guess I was right when I said that he won't care and that he won't treat me any different. I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my chest. And I'm stoked for all the swim seasons ahead.
     I also realize that I do have to drop the three seconds now. And I'm really hoping I can. I feel like if I did that, I would reproof myself to the team, Coach, and myself. Needless to say, that will be my top priority this year.
     And now, I sit and wait for Lake Shore Country Club (LSCC) to start so I can show that I am just as good as before. I'll keep you updated on all occurrences. 

My Last 72 Hours

Well as normal, the fam and the Wiesley Clan went to the Pocono's for the NASCAR race. This time I decided to make Nate tag along. Partially because he's my best friend and partially because I wanted him to make me more relaxed about telling Coach. Both proved to work. I'm glad that Nate came along. He was fricken ecstatic and probably had more fun then I did. He also passed another random friendship exam. And that I'm extremely proud of. Especially since it was vs his other best friend. And he really made me relax about telling Coach. I don't know why but when I am around him, things just seem to be less of an issue. Which is why I think he's awesome. Either way, I am actually ready and excited about telling Coach. Like I know that nothing bad will come out of it. So, although I have already thanked him like ten times in Blog posts, Imma say it again, thank you Nater. Thank you.

Its sitting by the overcoat, the second shelf the note she wrote, that I can't bring myself to throw away.

I'm not really sure what I wanna write about, I just feel like blogging. :D Well here I am, sitting here with the bro, aka Nate, watching The Hangover and chillaxing. And it feels pretty damn awesome that I can sit here with one of my best friends, the first person I told, and just act like everything was the way before I told him. We do the norm guy shit, even the slightly emotional crap. I mean, its unbelievable that he really doesn't worry about it or cares about it. All I know is that when shit hits the fan, regardless of gender, he will have my back. And I think that its fricken marvelous that he is able to be sleep with me, hang with me, do man hugs, etc. and just act as if I was like everyone else. That my friends, is the true reason why I am best friends with him I don't think he, nor anyone else, can realize the level of respect I have for him. I mean, its like on a scale of 1 to 10, its like 1000. I mean he ha been through soo much shit with me, that its not even comprehendable to anyone else. I'm just overly happy that I can trust him, rely on him, and overall lean on him at all times. I'm glad that he is that one person that I know wil be the he will be there with me throughout life. I'm super excited that you can sit there and do nothing, yet somehow make me feel 200x better. This weekend will help me prep for Monday, and give me extreme moral support. So I thank you again Nater.

Ahh, my best friend.

I love how when I'm with my best friend, all of my problems just seem to drop like ten points in importance. That's how I know that you are, and always will be, my best friend. I know that I can depend on you, fall on you, tell you my exact thoughts and dreams. Its like we were brothers separated at birth. I realize that its like we are family. And I'm glad that that is true. So this is just a shirt thank you to you, my best friend, Nate. Thanks bro.

Monday --> Thursday --> Monday

     So I must ROFL at this. I was talking with Coach all day about when we can discuss the current situation. And we decided that it would be best to talk about on Monday in the weight room. I am ninety-nine percent sure that he is aware of what it is regarding; But I'm not sure if I want that. But oh well. And now I am prepped for Monday. At this point, their is no return. And I'm kinda glad that this is finally gonna happen; It'll take a lot of my shoulders. 

    More to come later on :)

Monday ---> Thursday

Monday came and went; And me being me, I checked with Coach to be sure that he'd be in the workout room afterschool, it turns out he wasn't staying after. And that really blows because I was legit ready to tell him. But oh well. So through email messaging, I have figured out that he didn't already hear. And at that point I was kinda really concerned, because now I just through myself out there and he didn't already know, so now I have to tell him myself. Either way, its now going down on Thursday, although I'm not quite sure if I like that idea or not. But I don't really have a choice now. So, I'll wait it out till Thursday and will leave you with wondering what will happen.

Two Days Left...

With two days left until I have the big adventure with Coach, my primitive "Flight-or-Fight" instinct as already started kicking in. The debate is still rolling in my head, and although I know that I wanna do it and that the majority of the team has my back, I still am pacing back forth. The occupants of my head are going at it. I guess I always knew that this time would come, but I guess I didnt think it would come so quickly. I know that fear is meant to stop us from doing shit that could hurt us, both mentally and physically, but I'm not physically ready. My stomach and everything is going off the wall. But I'm mentally ready, its just that the rest of my body doesn't know that. And if my body stopped being messed up, I'd be all good. Well that's it for now. More to come as Monday inches closer.

Parenting

I often wonder how I will be as a father. I mean, regardless of weather or not I adopt, or have my own flesh and blood, I am hoping that I'll be that "cool dad". I really hope that I can be that awesome of a dad. I won't deny the fact that my father wasn't the best. Nor the fact that I wish he had done things differently, but I am hoping I can be a good father. I guess I'm hoping that I will alwaus be there for my child. And that I wil have an amazing relationship with my kids. I just wanted to do a nice little post about that.

C is for Challenge.

     So Monday will be a rather eventful day. I'm planning on at least one French test, probably a Geometry test, and more than likely some stupid review session in Bio. That I'm sick of as well, but regardless. After school is when fun begins.