"Family ties run deep in this land."

This is going to be a very,very random posting but...

     I guess I kinda always assumed that something would change. The way I think, the way I fell. Somewhere along the line, it would change. But it hasn't. So I guess I gotta confront my biggest fear, disappointing my father.
     Now, if you know my father, you realize that he doesn't have a good track record for when it comes to dealing with his problems. And if you know me, you know that I have been a usual cause for my father's problems.
     He always told me that, "When you have a child, you greatest fear is that they may do something wrong; And at that time, you feel like you have done something wrong, like you have screwed them up." I guess I always took those words to heart. I guess,  I was always afraid that I would make him feel that he's screwed up. Well, he hasn't.
     I can only hope that when I tell him the things I feel I need to tell him, he will realize that he hasn't screwed up at all. I believe that he will understand, and I believe that everything will go well.At least that's what I plan for.

More to come...

Something that I have learned regarding dependencies and drug abuse...

Recently I have seen the bad side of drugs. I have seen,and heard, things that have made me drastically change my views on drug use. I was already against the use of all of the illegal drugs and street drugs. I basically thought that I would only drink in life. I have decided that I will never drink either. I have seen what drinking can do to you and the effects that it has on your family and friends.
 A very close friend of mine has recently stopped drinking. I'm still amazed at how much he would drink. It would turn into a bi-nightly event. I saw the physical,mental, and emotional toll that it was taking on him. So, one day I told him that if he wouldn't stop drinking that I would have to stop being friends with him. I only told him this because I knew that he loved,and required, his friends more than anything else; And I knew it would work. Needless to say, on January 8th at around midnight, we decided that he couldn't drink for six months. He has done very well with staying sober. He is still adjusting to the symptoms of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome; but he is working on it.
Him and I have tried reaching out for help, and we have succeeded. His uncle and two of our friends are aware with his situation. And all of us are very supportive of him and him trying to stay dry.
I was thinking about this all day yesterday, and I just can't comprehend why one bad stage in someone's life can screw the rest of it. He wants to be a teacher,too. And if it ever gets legally recored that he was an alcoholic at 17, he's screwed. And I think that's what angers me the most...This is a great kid that has just hit a bump in the highway of life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to help him get over this bump. He can do it, I'm sure of it. I'm glad that he has at least recognized that he has a problem, and his working on it.

Keep at it!

CJD

My Most Recent College and Career Decisions

Okay guys, as we know, I am a high school sophomoric that wants to go to college ASAP, obviously I can't just skip high school...so I'm just really gonna plan for college :)
My latest college choices are:

• Castleton SC
• Coppin SU
• Fitchburg SU
• Gallaudet U
• Keene SC
• Old Dominion U
• Southern NH U
• SUNY Brockport
• SUNY Buffalo SC
• U Maryland Eastrn Sh
• Westfield SU

In order of choice:

Keene SC

Fitchburg SU

Southern NH U

Westfield SU

Coppin SU

Gallaudet U

U Maryland Eastrn Sh

SUNY Brockport

Castleton SC

Old Dominion U

So yeah. I have decided that I am going to go for either American History Education, English Education, or Political Science. I have also decided that I am gonna be a teacher. No matter what. I will not let any person or thing stop me from achieving my dream. This is what I want to do with my life, its been what I wanted to do with my life. And FYI: For all of those that doubt me, you will feel pretty bad when I have achieved everything that I set out to achieve.

This reminds me of a story that one of my teachers told me:

"My third grade teacher told me that I was a failure and that I would never amount to anything in life. It just so happens that when I was going to college for my Special Education degree, I was assigned to be a student teacher in that same school. One day I realized that she was standing across the room from me, and I decided to talk to her. I went to her and said "I don't know if you remember me, but in my third grade year of school you said that I would never amount to anything in life. Well guess what, I am now your peer and equal." Since then, I decided that I would never attempt to stop any student from doing what they want to do. And with that I leave you with the moral, Never let anybody tell you that you won't do something...prove them wrong"

 And I have been using those words to help me achieve what I want to do thus far. People said that I won't swim, I did. People have said that I won't stay in school, guess what, I am going to stay in school not only because I want to, but just to spite you. So just a reminder, I won't let anything stop me.

Just sayin'

CJD